Shamans Luck
by skylinebooshlover
Summary: My first fan fic, Naboo wins a shaman competition. With Vince, Howard, Bollo and Naboo you will have to read what happens hope you like it
1. Part 1:The luck of the draw

**Hiya! This is my first fan-fic so go easy on me. This is the first chapter of hopefully a few. I just thought I'd put it up to see what everyone thought. Would love to get some reviews and some advice on how to make it better ****J**** I do not own any of the mighty Boosh characters. **

Howard's smile faded as he red the printed capital letters on the front of the envelope "Bill". He sighed this was the fifth one in the past two weeks. What with sales in the Nabootique not going so well, they had all been finding it hard to cope with paying the bills. Howard had suggested Vince to get a paper round, Vince not so fond on the idea turned him down as he didn't like the uniform, and couldn't ride a bike for that matter. So Vince found a job offering in the vets, he helped to find out what was wrong with the animals he was like Mogli in flares.

Howard opened the envelope, electricity bill. Great. That was all they needed. They had all tried to earn money to help towards the bills but know one was successful. Bollo had tried stand-up in the velvet onion but had failed when he thought he had saw Peter Jackson in the back of the audience while trying to juggle on a unicycle. But Howard was trying not to relive that moment. Naboo said he was to busy to get a job and he had some important business to attend to in Dixons. Howard had left it at that.

"Hey Howard" came the voice from the door, Vince was stood there holding his usual brown envelope. He looked down at Howard's hands to see another bill and sighed. "Another one?" Howard nodded. " I got to know a frog pretty well today" he grinned. Howard looked at Vince, how could he smile like that even at the worst of times? It was like he wore an invisible poncho or something.

"You've missed a letter Howard" a tiny shamans voice was heard from behind the front door.

Naboo came through the door and handed a brown package to Howard, they all loomed over as Howard slowly opened the seam, he took the letter read

Dear Naboo,

"Congratulations! you have won our annual shamans yearly contest, please accept these gifts as your reward. For more information visit our head of prize giving, Tony Harrison or call the shaman hotline on 055567234"

Looks of delight shone on there faces as they urged Howard to retrieve the objects that are inside. He reached into the bag and grabbed out a free pen.

"That's typical! The only year I ever win the shamans draw! And that bloody head is in charge! I can't believe this!" Naboo ranted.

Vince and Howard had let Bollo settle Naboo down in his room. They both sat on the sofa Howard with his eyes closed listening to his jazz music which he had to turn off every 10 minutes to make sure Vince fainted or something. Vince was trying to make an origami penguin out of the brown envelope that had come with the free pen.

"Howard look at my penguin!" no reply

"Howard! Look! Aw no he's in a jazz trance he does this all the time!" Vince slapped him hard across the cheek.

"Ow! What was that for you berk! Never wake a man when he Is in a jazz trance I've told you this time and time again!"

"Sorry Howard.." Vince replied in a childlike tone trying to win Howard back over.

"That's alright little man, so, what is it you wanted to show me?"

Vince pointed out the little penguin he had made which he was quite pleased with. Howard laughed at Vince's attempt.

"Just one question Vince where did u get the white paper from to make his hat and belly, it better not have been my jazz notes! Oh please tell me it wasn't!"

"Calm down! It wasn't your jazz notes I'd of used them for his igloo" he laughed " It was some little tickets I just found they came out the envelope"

"Oh right good"

There was silence

There eyes grew wide.

"Do you know what you've done!!" Howard exclaimed

"I haven't given him a beak! Damn that was going to be my first priority!"

"No you berk! They're tickets he didn't just win a pen he won tickets!"

Vince looked at Howard in awe he loves it when he got his excited his moustache would twitch and it made him giggle.

An hour later they had unscrambled the tickets, there were four on all, one of them with eyes on from the penguin Vince had made, Vince had been totally against the idea of destroying his penguin. He had made Howard take photos of it from every angle and had to promise Vince he would put them in frames. They both looked at the tickets, This ticket will let you pass through any airport to any destination, it read. They looked at each other as they screamed and jumped in delight

"Disney!"

"The tundra!"

they glared into each others eyes and both jumped to the tickets.

**Thanks for reading, would love to get some reviews on how the chapter is would love to develop my writing skills. Hopefully if I get some good reviews I will post more chapters! Thanks again for reading!**


	2. part 2: A gorilla on a plane

**Hello, me again hehe this is chapter 2 thanks for reading chapter 1. I do not own any of the Boosh characters. Enjoy the chapter ****J**

"Socks, jumpers, trousers, t-shirts, hats, shoes, accessories, and underwear, that is me packed and ready to go!"

Howard walked into there room the place was a mess, wardrobe doors flung open, clothes all over the floor and 3 over packed suitcases lying on the bed, and a cheeky smiling Vince giving him his sweetest eyes.

"Don't you think this is a bit extreme for a holiday Vince" Howard sighed as he looked at Vince with disbelief at how much mess he could make within the space of half an hour.

"No! don't be stupid! I need a suitcase for jumpers, socks, trousers, and t-shirts, a suitcase for hats, shoes and underwear and a suitcase for accessories"

Howard looked at Vince open mouthed "You need a separate suitcase for accessories!?"

Vince looked at Howard almost hurt "Yes of course I do!"

"One suitcase Vince!"

"where have I heard that before? Maybe when we took a holiday at piny ridge! Remember? We nearly got raped by yeti's! if you'd of let us pack more than one suitcase we never would have been in that situation! I wanted to go to the goofy lodge!"

Howard became nervous as there was only one thing that Howard was scared of.. Vince outsmarting him.

"Yeah we'll.. there aren't going to be any yeti's Vince!" Howard walked out of the door knowing he was beaten

"That's what you said last time" he whispered to himself while eating a strawberry bootlace.

"Bollo where's my turban?" The impatient shaman shouted at his familiar

"You stuck it on the pig when you were drunk, remember?"

"Oh yeah" he smirked

"Hey guys" Howard entered a smile on his face "You packed?"

"Yeah but is there any point? Aren't Vince's suitcases just going to fill the whole boot?"

"Point taken, but no I've limited him to one suitcase"

"Aw no Howard, not this one suitcase thing again!" Naboo sighed and shivered after the past experience

"Just get ready will you Naboo I'll be waiting in the car" without anymore words spoken Howard closed the door on Naboo and Bollo

"What a ballbag" Bollo and Naboo said in unison.

With a big push Howard managed to fit the last suitcase into the boot of the car.

"HEY! How come he's allowed 2 suitcases! I was only allowed one!"

They all exchanged looks at each other, then at Howard

"hey, uum.. come on were going on holiday, smiles all around!" a gloomy expression came from everyone but Vince who was to busy knocking the converse air freshener which Vince insisted on buying. Howard climbed into the drivers seat and before long they were away.

"eye spy with Howard's little eyes something beginning with-" Vince was stopped by the squinting eyes of a shrew staring him down. Naboo and Bollo were trying to hold there laughter back in the back seat. Vince was finding it hard to keep the laughter back too.

The car had been silent but as soon as the lights of the airport came in sight the whole car brightened up, especially Vince's face. They hardly ever went on holiday, but every time they did Vince always got so excited! His little face would light up like a Christmas tree at seeing the aeroplanes taking off and gliding through the sky towards there next destination. Vince by now was bobbing up and down on his seat

"Keep an eye out for parking spaces" Howard said. An hour later still no parking spaces and Vince was now sat still and frustrated just wanting to see the planes.

"Oh this is ridiculous!" Naboo shouted as he mumbled a few words in the back and saw a car with no driver, reverse backwards and drive the other way. They all watched amazed and stared at Naboo

"Why didn't you do that earlier?" Howard asked questioningly

"Because that's taken magic carpet miles off me that has!" Naboo slumped in the back seat.

"Tickets please" asked the short stocky woman behind the counter, They each in turn handed the tickets and all waited in suspense to see if the blank pieces of people,

"yes that's fine" They all sighed with relief and started to walk through the gate onto there plane. Vince was jumping through the terminal, Howard laughed as Vince started to do mission impossible rolls. They reached the end of the terminal and boarded the plain. Vince first followed by Howard then Naboo and Bollo who got quite a few strange looks to why a gorilla was on a plane. Vince sat next to the window, making sure he had the best view possible.

"Can I have the children's play pack please" Howard asking to one of the air hostesses

"Children ay" said the woman in front "How old is yours?"

"27"


	3. Part 3: Fasten your seatbelts

**Sorry it's been a while since i have updated but here it is chapter 3 :) Thank you for the reviews . I do not own the mighty Boosh or it's characters. Yet again sorry for the wait and enjoy!**

"Howard… Howard… Howard?… Howard..."

a long silence was cast

"Howard?"

"This better be good"

"Are clouds unicorn poops?"

"Never speak to me again"

Vince laughed. "You know Howard, these packs never have a peach coloured pencil so my people end up having blue and green, or even red faces."

"I thought you brought some crayons with you, you always complain that they don't give you a peach"

"one suitcase" interrupted Naboo, Vince nodded in agreement and then continued colouring his picture of Howard in blue. Vince was wearing his mirror ball suit because there weren't enough mirrors on a plane everybody knew that. Also the sparkle attracted people's eyes and made him more noticeable not that he couldn't be noticed already. Howard had been reading his magazine that he'd picked up in a small shop in the airport, he'd originally gone in for some travel sweets but with a hyper and excited Vince with him he came out with a copy of heat, a bar of dairy milk chocolate, some rolo's, a blanket, a squishy pink pillow, a can of hairspray, a bottle of fanta, his magazine, and a kinder egg. Naboo and Bollo had purposely taken the seats behind Vince and Howard instead of sitting next to them, he couldn't be doing with another geography lecture from Howard.

"Hey Naboo, me no feel good" Bollo was holding his stomach, he'd never been a good traveller

"Bollo hold it in we've only got an hour left"

***********************************************************************

He'd used up most of the aeroplane tissues trying to clean his shaman robes of Bolo's.. mess.

"Sorry"

Vince couldn't keep his laughter back from the front seat and neither could Howard, serves Naboo right for not sitting next to him when he had a chance.

"Howard"

"Yes little man?"

"Are we nearly there yet?"

"Not long now"

"I think I'm gonna have a little sleepy" and with that Howard stood up and opened one of the hatches above where they were sitting where the hand luggage had been placed and pulled down the pink pillow which they had bought earlier. He got back in his seat and Vince placed the pillow on Howard's arm and soon enough he had fallen asleep. Howard pulled down the aeroplane to stop the light from shining on his face, but soon enough the quietness and the lightly glow on the plane sent Howard to sleep as well as Vince.

***********************************************************************

"Could you please fasten your seatbelts we are ready for landing" The speaker of the annoying captain's voice awoke the sleepy pair

"Howard you berk why didn't you tell me we were about to land" he looked frantic and pushed the window slide upward and was blinded by his view of the sun stretching over the holiday homes and the clear blue sea. Vince stared in awe as he could just about see The Disneyland. Howard watched in amusement as Vince's smile grew bigger and bigger with every landmark that came in site. Howard fastened his seat belt and noticed Vince was to busy staring out of the window to remember the announcement, so Howard quickly fastened his and Vince hadn't even noticed.

The plane was slowly descending and Howard's stomach was feeling it. He felt a nudge at the side of his arm.

"Howard i need the toilet" Vince whispered looking at his friend feebly like a small child

"You can't go now, were landing, just hold it in"

"I can't Howard I'm gonna burst!" he was fidgeting around and crossing his legs as tight as he could.

"Come on quickly" the pair slowly sneaked out of there seats,

"Excuse me could you return to your seats were getting ready for landing" said the tired rundown airhostess with a fake smile

"We-"

"I need the toilet you bumberclarke get out the way" Vince pushed past Howard and the air hostess she gave in and went back to there staff room and started to get seat belted in.

A few minutes later after some, bangs and clashes, and yelps, but no replies from Vince, the latch if the toilet door clicked and an exhausted looking Vince with Toilet paper wrapped around his body and head stumbled out holding on to Howard for grip

"I think i can hold it" he panted.

**Thanks for reading would appreciate reviews x**


	4. Part 4: luggage and diddy donuts

**I do not own the mighty Boosh or any of it's characters, enjoy!! **

The luggage conveyor was filled with bags of the newly landed plane. As people collected there luggage more came through. A particular sequined case came through with a particular sequined owner sitting on top of it. Howard tutted as Naboo, Bollo and himself had spent half an hour searching for him, thinking he had gotten lost in the gift shop. Howard quickly pulled Vince off and made him go and collect a trolley to put just his suitcases on.

"Your being well unfair Howard!" Vince gave Howard an evil glare

"Yeah leave him alone Howard he's only having a bit of fun" Naboo frowned

"But- but! you were moaning just a second ago, that Vince needed to gain a bigger attention span!"

They all sighed and shook there heads at Howard. Once all the suitcases were loaded onto the trolleys the tremendous four started there adventure... to McDonalds...

"Ok what are you having Vince?"

"I'll have a happy meal they're genius! They've got a free dinosaur inflatable colouring in mask, try saying that when your drunk!"

"Ok Vince, Naboo?"

"I'll have a cheeseburger"

"A cheeseburger?"

"yeah is there something wrong with that?"

"No.. just always seen you as a hamburger type of guy" Everybody shook there heads in disbelief.

"Bollo?"

"Bollo want nothing"

"Ok" he walked away towards the till

"Actually Harold, Bollo want Mcflurry"

"Right, Bollo" he walked towards the till

"Smartie Mcflurry"

"Ok, Smartie Mcflurry, a genius happy meal and a hamburger"

"Cheeseburger!" shouted Naboo

Howard sighed and went to the till

"Hey where you from?" he chuckled to himself but stopped when the woman behind the counter gave him no reaction

"Can i take your order please" her voice droned

"Yeh, can i have a happy meal, a Smartie Mcflurry a cheeseburger and also a green salad, thanks"

He handed over the meal and the drinks and the extras that Vince had come over to ask for like the diddy donuts with chocolate dip and Bollo thought that sounded good so he wanted it as well.

"Cheers Howard"

"Yeah it's okay Vince, nice to know someone cares that i just spent my money on all of you"

"well were taking this with us meet us at the front of the airport in half an hour, don't be late!"

"Right, were not five Naboo, Howard stared at Vince "okay, yep front gate"

Vince was colouring in his dinosaur mask his tongue sticking out in pure concentration and looked up in complete confusion. They left McDonalds carrying there cheeseburger and Smartie Mcflurry and donut dip.

"Howard how are we going to get to the hotel?"

"Taxi probably"

"What!? no! i can't be seen in a taxi Howard!"

"Vince, know one is going to know you here"

"I've got connections!"

"Fine we'll get the bus"

Vince turned white "taxi it is"

He continued to nibble at his chips and dunk them in the tomato ketchup pot, Howard giggled when the tomato ketchup started leaking out of the side of the pot. Howard went to grab Vince's drink as he forgot to order one for himself, Vince quickly removed his red straw and replaced it with a dull green colour one and smiled at Howard.

"taxi!"

_**So sorry about the gap! I've been really busy with exams! but thank you for your patience take care *skylinebooshlover***_


	5. Part 5: Taxi's and Limo's

_**Okay this has been a mahooosive gap since the last chapter, but i have a real boosh head on at the minute so i thought i'd write another chapter. i do not own the mighty boosh, if i did i would be very very rich :3 Happy reading :)**_

After ten minutes of shouting and cursing Howard had finally managed to stop a taxi to take him and Vince from the airport. Vince had jumped into the taxi, leaving Howard to carry and force 3 suitcase's into the taxi's compact boot.

"Do you need a hand with that mate?" the taxi driver had shouted out to Howard when the last suitcase had been slipped into the boot with a satisfying clunk.

Howard let out a sigh of frustration "Ooh, i think i'll be alright thanks!" and with that he slammed the boot of the car as hard as he could to cause damage to the insolent drivers taxi.

Vince however was very happy contemplating his week in disney in the goofy lodge. He reached into his bag and pulled out his compact mirror checking his reflection and smoothing his hair to it's original position.

"So you and your husband on holiday then are we beautiful" The taxi driver smiled at Vince

Vince looked up from his reflection "Husband? Oh you mean Howard! No were just friends!" He smiled and again began to loose himself in his own reflection.

Howard clambered into the car, exhausted "Goofy lodge please" He groaned

Half an hour later the taxi pulled into the last turning.

Vince's seatbelt had been undone for the past ten minutes as his head poked from the sunroof, to excited to realise his hair was being tangled and knotted. Howard had made a few futile attempts to pull Vince from the sunroof but had been awarded with a leather boot in the chest. Howard slipped his hat back on his head and payed the taxi driver the fee not happy with the amount it had come to mind.

Vince combed his hair back into place and slammed the door of the taxi almost trapping Howards fingers.

"Hey darling, If you and your dad ever feel lonely this week give Tony a call" The taxi driver winked at Vince.

Howard stared at the taxi driver "Piss off"

Bollo and Naboo decided to get to the Hotel in style, not wanting to loose any more magic carpet miles they settled for a white stretch limo.

Vince's eyes grew wide as he saw the tiny shaman and his monkey familiar pull over in what can only be described ad Vince's dream ride.

"Howard you bumberclarke! How come we couldn't have a limo "

"Do you know how much limo's cost Vince and not to mention how much they polute the environment!"

Vince had already decided to walk off knowing that this would be one of Howards famous lectures.

Vince and Howard were in a seperate room to Bollo and Naboo. Vince had decided to stay with Howard knowing that he wouldnt of packed to much luggage. Leaving Vince with more room. Howard was sorting out the details with the hotel manager who was a slightly strange green tone to her skin and he swore he had seen that tutu before, while Vince played with the pot purri on the counter

"Howard... Howard, Howard, Howard!"

"What is it VInce!" Howard looked around and noticed he may have been slightly loud giving his reply to Vince, the whole lobby was staring at him.

"You know Pot purri? Is it what gets left behind when the rainbow's gone?" Vince laughed over at Howard giving himself a chinese burn.


End file.
